Early this month the Flemish Environment Minister Zuhal Demir (nationalist) was sent unsolicited photographs of a man’s genitalia. The person that sent Ms Demir so-called “dickpics” also send her sexually explicit messages in text form. Ms Demir is not the only Fleming to have been sent unsolicited dickpics. Around half of all women in our region between the ages of 15 and 35 say that they have been sent photographs of this nature. In addition to women some men also fall victim to unsolicited dickpics.
"I was eating, but I suddenly lost my appetite”, Flemish women talk about receiving unsolicited dickpics
Published:
In the following article four Flemings tell of their experience of receiving unsolicited obscene photographs. The four victims that testify in our article asked to remain.
S. (24): "He didn’t understand that I didn’t like it"
S. is now 24. She was just 14 when she received unsolicited dickpics. "I had just downloaded Snapchat and had made contact with someone that I knew from school. We chatted regularly about normal things, but then I was suddenly sent a dickpic”.
"I really didn’t like it and I thought it was quite weird. I was still so young and wasn’t ready for this at all, but it was suddenly pushed into my face. It is still etched into my memory”.
"I told him straight away that I didn't like it, but he didn’t seem to understand why and also why I didn’t send him a similar photo of myself. After that he never sent another dickpic and we continued chatting”.
Later in life, S. received another unsolicited expected dickpic from a stranger she had befriended out of curiosity on social media. "That was very different because that was someone I didn't know and whom I then immediately blocked. That first photo was really meant for me personally and therefore more confrontational."
F. (21): "It was weird and I had to laugh about it a bit"
Now 21, F was also sent a dickpic when she was younger. “I just had a normal conversation online with a boy that didn’t have a sexual undertone. When he was lying in his bed at night, he suddenly sent me a photograph of his penis. I was 16 then it it wasn’t really a big deal. I wasn’t angry, but rather a bit taken aback. It was weird and I had to laugh about it a bit. I told him that he didn’t need to send photos like that and it never happened again.”
F. says she would react differently today if she had received an unsolicited dickpic. "I was still fairly immature, so I just let it pass, but I didn't think about what kind of impact something like that has. Today I would make it clear to the sender that I the pictures was unwanted."
"It's good that there is more discussion about this these days. I don't think I told anyone back then, but I would today."
Lien (35): "I was really in shock"
Lien is now 35, but she can still remember vividly the early years of the internet. "When I was about 14, I opened an MSN messenger account that I used to chat with people that I had met online. I thought that I could just chat with some new people until suddenly I received a request for videochat. Not suspecting anything I accepted and then I saw a man that was pleasuring himself. It was my first experience with that kind of images, and I was really in shock”.
Later too, when she was about 20, Lien often received unsolicited dicpicks. "Sometimes these were from boys that I knew well or was dating. In these cases, we had had a good time together, but suddenly the boy had started sending this kind of photo without me wanting them too. I have never understood why”.
"Back then there wasn’t really any discussion about whether sending unsolicited dickpics was wrong or a criminal offence. But they always left me feeling uncomfortable. By bringing their penis uninvited into my living room they had breached my privacy. I was eating my dinner, but I suddenly lost my appetite”.
Lien says that only now does she really realise that unsolicited dickpics are "downright wrong".
"I'm glad there's a lot of talk about this issue now. It's just a pity that previously a generation had to just put up with it."
In recent years, Lien has no longer been sent unsolicited dickpics. "Then again, I'm bisexual and lately I've mostly been in contact with women. In my experience they don't send this kind of thing”.
"B. (24): "I always block the senders of dickpics"
B. is a gay man. He also regularly receives unsolicited dickpics. "In a certain situation, dickpics can be welcome, but not when they are unsolicited" he says.
"Usually, these protest arrive for no reason via a dating apps or social media. Just saying ‘how are you doing’ can provide some men with a reason for sending a dickpic. They usually expect to be sent one back”.
B. always blocks the senders of unsolicited dickpics. "If you don't, you can often expect a constant influx of this kind of photo. On some dating apps, there is a limit on the number of people you can block in one day. I usually reach this limit pretty quickly. I have become used to filtering through my messages and not even looking up from dickpics anymore."